Sunday, April 4, 2010


I don't know if it's because I'm still postpartum, but my world has been completely stressful lately. I'd like to just be able to relax more and enjoy my time. Instead I find myself arguing or being defensive about the stupidest things. I think it's because sometimes I feel like everyone is out to get me.. I wish there was a chill pill I could take everyday!!

Things I don't feel I have enough time for:


Working Out

School Work (Statistics is really time consuming when you have to teach yourself everything!)

Teaching the Kids new things

And most of all..


If I do find time for any of these things something else suffers. I just wish there were more hours in the day!!

It drives me insane that I can't get any alone time most weeks because Roger and my schedules don't allow it. We used to try and find time to do something together every night after the kids went to sleep but it's just not happening. I keep trying to tell myself that someday it will be different and Roger and I will have more time together, but it just seems to far in the future!! I feel like we don't even know when he'll be done with all his schooling (he's hoping to be done by December with his bachelor's finally if he gets all of his credit problems solved, yes still fighting for credits and then once he gets into a PA school another 2 years)...and with the new health care plan I almost hope he rethinks going into health care. I'm so ready to feel like we are in our careers and thriving instead of being poor!!! I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we didn't already have three kids!! Haha...
I love my kids! Benjamin is keeping me going with his smiles and giggles...while the other two are big handfuls...
Onto a better topic...I love my job... I never thought that I would become just as interested in photography as my mom is but here I am just following in her footsteps. They are big shoes to fill but I hope I can do it. I have done a couple things over the winter for a few friends here in Cheney and have really enjoyed doing stuff on my own.. It makes me realize just how much my mom loves her job!! I know that being a second shooter/helper isn't always as fun as being the one interacting the whole time capturing the images. So I just wanted to share my favorite picture that I took for a woman in our stake of her newborn who had had RSV and had been hospitalized. She knew she wouldn't be able to get to a studio for pictures (the hospital orders told her to stay home until the end of RSV season) and her friend told her about me! It was so fun to take pictures of someone else's child! She has now become a friend since I had to call her with questions about RSV this week!! I'm so grateful for her advice! What a sweet woman!


lydia said...

what a sweet picture of that teeny tiny baby.

Things will get better! I had those exact same feelings...and am just barely starting to feel normal again. I was on post-partum depression medicine as soon as Jace was born and that seemed to help stay calm a lot of the time. I took it to prevent post-partum from ever happening. Hmmm...maybe I should just send you some cookies. That's what I'll do. I have to make 24 for the winner...but I'll send you whatever is left so we don't eat them. Message me your address!

HawesFam said...

I am sorry things are so stressful right now. Hang in there! If there is anything I can do, let me know. The picture turned out so cute, I love it! Great job. If you need a baby sitter for your kids, let me know and Cody and I will watch them for you. Have a great day!